I want to be strong this time and not jump into a new relationship too quickly.  Thinking of being single for a year, find myself, love myself and regain my strength.  But as I get ready to step out to get brunch, I feel the desire to have company, someone to share my time with... to laugh with.  I need that so much because I didn't have it during the last 12 years of my marriage.  This is going to be harder than I thought!

11 years of what??  Nothing but pain & hurt, loneliness & bitterness, betrayal & infidelity.  When is enough is enough?  Every year it gets worse and worse and I still find it in me to forgive him... to dream that one day he will change... letting my fears of being alone keep me in this abusive relationship... and not realizing I've already been alone for 12 years.