Lort hep me! (In my Madea's voice)   Do not let this T Shirt fool you peeps! I have a side of me I rather not show. Like when something makes me go from 0 to 100 in half of a second. Like when I start the day singing halleluyerzzz and somehow by evening I am in a war zone throwing F bombs cussing in between sentences.   It is not easy man! I try! I promise I do! God knows my ❤.... I hope!   So a day like yesterday. I woke up motivated and happy.   Things took a turn for the worse when my 14 year old showed up at my side with bleached h air. Never mind just color dye which at her age I do NOT approve of anyways BUT even worse. Bleached! Like... did I say BLEACHED! A job done by my oldest 22 year old daughter who did not care to ask me permission. Who thought it was cute to encourage such abominable disobedience. Leading my 14 year old to a downward spiral of rebellion! I was livid! In my mind I shouted....I rebuke you Satan for influencing my children and takin...

I often wonder why a person has the need to judge and criticize another person over and over again. It angers me at times. Part of me wants to retaliate by hurting that person's feelings. Letting them feel worse than how they've made me feel. But I must find peace in knowing that God will handle my enemies. He has favor over me. He will set a table for me in front of them. I must hold on to faith and use my anger wisely. I will get up, dust myself off and move on.

I am blessed to have found a man that loves me unconditionally, who treats me like a queen and shows me that I am the only woman in his life. But sometimes, no matter how secure the relationship, the past creeps up on you. Being in a 12 yr relationship built on infidelity, lies and pain, it makes you see & feel things that are not necessarily there in your current relationship. It is important to quickly catch those negative thoughts and dismiss them. If there is no obvious evidence of infidelity or broken trust, you must not feed into it. This type of insecurity can break down a strong union. Ladies! Be in control of your mind and emotions. Let go and let God.  Blessings!

Thinking back to years ago when I was married to my ex-husband and he'd be out with other women. I viewed these women as evil creatures. I mean, how could they entertain a relationship with a married man? Did they not have a heart? Did they not have a conscious? Did they not care how much they were hurting me and my family? Did they not see how much I cried?  But today I see with unveiled eyes. The truth is that these other women were hurting too. Deep down there was a hole in their soul that they needed to fill. They were insecure, lonely and mislead by lust.  The attention of a married man made them feel wanted and loved. To be able to distract a married man's attention from his wife was an accomplishment. It felt great. It made them feel important, more beautiful and empowered. These were the feelings that they could never feel on their own. In reality, these women were broken inside!  Many were victims of...

Why is it that we like the bad boys? You know what I'm talking about. That guy that seems to ignore you yet give you just enough attention to hook you. He is condescending and sarcastic. He tells you that he is not looking for anything serious but you find yourself wanting him. In your mind this is a challenge. You want to be the one to have him. Maybe he will change for you. Yet you find yourself answering that text he sent in the middle of the night after he had a few drinks.  Or answering that random call after a few weeks of being MIA. He knows you'll still let him come over.  You are convincing yourself that he actually cares. You think he really wants you. You think he really wants to spend time with you. After all, he took the time to reach out. You ignore the fact that it's 3am...that he only reaches out on some weekends. So what if the last time you spoke was a week ago.  Listen here! Open your eyes! NEWS FLASH.... You were just an after thought. An easy target. ...

Today I started thinking that I really need to figure out what my purpose in life is.  A voice whispered in my thoughts to help motivate women in bad relationships, those having a hard time dating and women who find it hard to love themselves first. I thought I could start a blog. To my surprise, I found this blog that I had started over four years ago. Reading my profile and my first two blogs back in 2010 brought me to tears. It was like if I was reading another person's hurt, yet it was my own.  I just cant believe I went through all those years of pain.  And here I am four years later with the love of my life.... remarried and happy! I cant wait to help my sisters out there find what I found.

I want to be strong this time and not jump into a new relationship too quickly.  Thinking of being single for a year, find myself, love myself and regain my strength.  But as I get ready to step out to get brunch, I feel the desire to have company, someone to share my time with... to laugh with.  I need that so much because I didn't have it during the last 12 years of my marriage.  This is going to be harder than I thought!